This austere fellow was once the emperor of 60% of North America.

The original Emperor Norton was a jovial, well-regarded fellow from San Francisco who lived in the 19th century. He patrolled the city and made people feel at ease throughout the turbulent years after the Gold Rush. He took the title “Norton I, Emperor of the United States and Protector of Mexico” as his own. If you want to read the official history, you can find it all on Wikipedia. We’re not here to talk about that part. You wanna know the secret stuff. Well, we’ve got you covered. 

Upon the death of Emperor Norton I, forces went into action. Super cool, clandestine forces with awesome looking swords and probably code names and stuff. The leader of this effort was Emperer Norden I. You’re going to want to read that last sentence again, and pay really close attention to spelling. 

And yes, we know what you’re thinking. “That is a confusing title! I was confused!” That’s the point. Think about it. If you have enemies, what better way to confuse them than if it’s hard for them to request a meeting with you: your title and another person’s title sound the same. How are they going to overthrow your regime now? It’s confusing and it’s subterfuge! I told you this was cool. 

Emperor Norton didn’t have any children, so he needed to plan his succession. He couldn’t just appoint someone before he died. This is the United States, not some monarchy. At first he planned to have a convocation¹ of eagles fly down from Mt Rushmore² to select his successor, but he just couldn’t get the birds to behave.

Some examples of very cool swords.

¹ - Yes, it’s called a convocation.

² – Mt Rushmore is the worst.

Instead, he named his favorite mule trainer – a man named Copeland Eastbeef – the first Emperer Norden, and thus began a yearslong scheme.  Norton told him: “After I die, go out and find the most honorable, noble person you can, and name him Norton II.” Copeland thought this plan was great, and once the Emperor’s funeral was complete, he went looking. He didn’t go too far, so we’ll never know if Juniper Clabberpap was truly the most honorable or noble, but the first Emperer was a mule trainer, not a philosopher. 

Thus the cycle was enshrined. From then on, the Emperor would appoint the next Emperer, and vice versa, upon the other’s death. Here’s a full accounting of them to date:

Norton I - Joshua Abraham Norton (1859 - 1880)

Norden I - Copeland Eastbeef (1871 - 1943)

Norton II - Juniper Clabberpap (1880 - 1937)

Norden II - Occholz Quadrupleday (1943 - 1961)

Norton III - Teela Jerm (1937 - 1981)

Norden III - Hogan Hunnicup (1961 - )

Norton IV - Sherman Lampspight (1981 - 2004)

Substitute Norton - Edward Norton (November 2004 to January 2005)

Norton IV - Sherman Lampspight (2005 - 2019)

Norton V - Topher Traphouse (2019 - )

That’s basically what we know. Does the reigning Emperor Norton have any power? Not really. He does have a lot of money and treasure though, which is cool. And he does issue a lot of decrees. He carries a sword and employs a lot of guards, which is enviable. He lives inside the western pillar of the Willie L. Brown Jr. Bridge (a.k.a. the western span of the San Francisco Bay Bridge) like a medieval castle. And he keeps sweet snacks here. So while he’s not what you might first imagine an emperor to be, he is pretty cool.

It’s the closest one. There’s an elevtor that goes up and down it. It’s super secret, and you definitely cannot visit there.

Anders’ Study Questions:

1. Why is the Emperor living in secret? 

2. Is there a good reason that the Emperor hates the US government?

3. If Hogan Hunnicup is such a bad guy, why is the emperor so nice?

4. What’s Tippy Looseleaf’s connection to the Emperor and does it have anything to do with the Secret Place?

5. Does anyone know any good mule trainers? 

A complicated man…

Early years
Hogan got his start as a member of the prestigious Hunnicup treasure hunting family, but could never share their passion despite years of trying. A source close to Hogan tells us that at the age of five, he got stuck in a Mason jar trying to find a missing shoelace. As he grew older, his trips away from home became longer and more frequent. Hogan always knew he wasn’t a good fit for the family’s occupation. He had different ideas, and nightmares about treasure chests.

A life of piracy
At some point (no one knows exactly when) Hogan became a part of a rowdy, dangerous crew of pirates. He immediately knew that looking for treasure wouldn’t be as much fun as just taking it. He took the name “Sea Lion” to hide his true identity from the Hunnicups. He was brutal. Murderous. Everyone feared him. Also, he developed a taste for grog. The name makes it sound gross, but that’s part of the allure. 

Entertainment coordinator
Hogan’s true calling didn’t turn out to be banditry, though. What he’s really best at is throwing a party. Rumor has it a pirate captain once told Hogan he was tired of hearing the same three-piece band every night for months on end. At the next port, Hogan waylaid an accordion player, and the rest was history. He spent years bringing willing and unwilling musicians, jugglers, and sleight-of-hand performers into the holds of ships and giving pirates a show. It’s worth noting that he also stole gold from the pirates he entertained. He was not a great dude.

Marriage
Hogan was in love with Mindy Shamshaw, a pirate singer who could melt the hearts of the most sunburnt, seasick crew. They were lovers immediately, friends in the deepest sense, but Hogan was a pirate at heart. When Tippy Looseleaf joined the pirate crew, she stole Hogan’s heart and he turned his back on Mindy. Somewhere a few miles off the coast of Snake Island, Tippy and Sea Lion were wed. You wouldn’t think it, but a TON of people get married as soon as they leave Snake Island. That place really fires up the emotions.

Becoming the Emperer Norden
Tippy had big plans. She wanted to coopt the Norton line¹, and she would use Hogan to do it. Tippy knew about the Nortons, and the Nordens, and she knew they’d never make her one of theirs—but Hogan fit the bill. He was dashing and courageous and absolutely amoral. The Norden line would have a break soon and someone would need to select the next one. So they maneuvered and found themselves in the right place at the right time. Emperor Norton the 3rd selected Hogan as the next Emperer Norden. For this role, Hogan went by the name Skrull Scamp, because he was in a band called Skrull Scamp and the Scampis, and hoped it would help him sell tickets. It did not.

¹ - Want to know more about the Emperor Norton and his line of succession? Listen to season 2, episode 4 for more, and stay tuned to this blog for a history, coming soon.

Family life
Hogan has two children: the first is Jessup Stagename (actual name unknown) and Stagename “Stamp” Hamburgers Hunnicup. Tippy is Stamp’s mother, but it’s not clear who Jessup’s mother was. Mindy never mentioned her, but Jessup was a girl when Tippy and Sea Lion were wed. Hogan claims he left Tippy because she was dangerous. They obviously drifted apart—Tippy following her ambitions, and Sea Lion getting more and more into his music with the Scampis, and eventually his sandwiches. He opened a restaurant called “The Sandwich Spot,” which he operates still. A bit of advice if you choose to dine there: get your food to go. They only play Skrull Scamp and the Scampis over the loudspeaker, and whatever you call that kind of music, it’s bad for digestion. Kind of like that grog.

If you listened to Season 2, you could be forgiven for being a little confused about Helen’s parentage, grandparentage, and other relationships. We wanted to clear the air and give you something to reference if you ever get lost again. It’s like how there were all those charts in the back of the Game of Throne books—but we promise you only need this one. Here’s some info on the Hunnicup family and some episodes you can listen to if you want to meet them:

• Helen Hunnicup is one of the hosts of this podcast. She grew up with Horace and Hope as parents in a place called Bolinas, California. She didn’t learn that her father was actually Stamp Hamburgers until recently!

• Hope Hunnicup was Helen’s mom. She was an excellent treasure hunter, even though she married into the Hunnicup family. I’m sure you’ve read all about her tragic demise, but please don’t tell Helen about it!

• Horace Hunnicup was always the quieter member of the pair, but just as devoted and passionate. He also, unfortunately, passed away too soon.

• Stamp Hamburgers is a wandering letter carrier with adventure in his heart and a mischievious side. He fell in love with Hope Hunnicup and Helen was their daughter.

• Tippy Looseleaf was Helen and Anders’ nemesis (though she would never have described it that way). It was only recently that Helen learned she was actually her grandmother. Since then, they’ve tried to find a way to be friends.

• Hogan Hunnicup (a.k.a. Sea Lion, or Skrull Scamp) is the Emperer Norden of these United States. It’s complicated. He’s also an entertainment coordinator for pirates. And he briefly married Tippy Looseleaf. He has another daughter named Jessup Stagename (that’s her stage name).

• Helen Hunnicup Sr. is the whole reason we have this podcast! She’s in hiding now, but trust us—she’s safe. She hid all of the maps to The Secret Place under the Largo Argentina in Rome, and left clues for her grandchildren to find them. Helen Jr. grew up with Helen Sr. and their relationship is important to them both.

• Lou Nickelghost is Helen Sr.’s husband. We’re not sure if he’s in hiding or not? We haven’t met him. Yet.

(tl;dr watch out for two new episodes coming soon, and the official start of our new treasure hunt on May 31st!)

Wow! Been a while! So good to take some time off.

What have we been up to, you ask? Well, Helen is on a long road trip. She’s climbed three different mountains already, and punched a cave into one, where she spent a little while camped out. She also visited Tucson! Anders has been focused on his cast iron pans (he’s been trying every method of curing he can find, and will probably be self-publishing a book), and helping out at Cioppino Cornelius.

Our first new episode will land in your feed this Monday, April 19th! But that will only happen if you’re subscribed. You can find us on your favorite podcast app with any of these lovely buttons.

Our next episode after that will be in your ears on May 3rd. We’ll take one last short break before we begin our next treasure hunt on May 31st. From that point on, you’ll get a season full of mysteries, clues, and new friends! There are ghost tours and psychics, human-powered flight, community theater, and library initiation rituals. We’ll visit airports and mountaintops, frozen wastelands and hardware stores. All in pursuit of not one, but TWO different lost treasures. Old friends are coming back and new ones are here to stay.

So make sure you’re subscribed—and give us a review! Share this link with your friends, or tell them about your favorite episode. Without you, we won’t be able to find anything!

What have we learned so far about the Hunnicup Treasure? This post is full of spoilers for episode 13, Decomposition of Sea Life, and episode 14, Salt Damage. If you haven’t listened yet, and don’t want to know about this stuff, you can listen now and hear it all there first. If you haven’t heard it yet… maybe you should subscribe on Spotify, Google, Sticher, or iTunes?

Objects we found:

• Some reel to reel audio recordings

• A bolt (maybe from a hatch? a boat hatch?)

• Petrified wood

• Helen Sr’s watch (it says IIII instead if IV where the four should be)

On the tape, we learned that Helen Sr was disappointed in her family. She thought they were getting worse! Her son Horace went mad trying to decipher the Eurypides series. Too many Harriets, not enough Helens. She made this treasure as a way of leading her family to greatness again. She thought it would be the greatest puzzle of all time.

She starts with a poetic clue:

My hidden trove has withered some
Its glory faded from its mother tongue
Spy a hill topped with tumbled stones
Recondite store amid these temple bones
Here I set my furtive wealth
Espy my cache; defeat my stealth

And she gives us two other hints later:

• To settle a score you must walk through the door

• What looks like metal may need mettle. Like with two T[s]

We don’t know what comes next! But we have ideas.

Anders:

• The “tumbled stones” and “temple bones” seem to indicate a ruined temple

• Maybe because it’s “faded from its mother tongue” it’s been moved from one country to another?

Helen:

• I was licked by a cat today, and it’s been really weighing on my mind

• There are some cat references in the poem. 1) Espy my (cat)che and 2) FURtive wealth

• So, maybe Cat-Bolt is a clue

Congratulations on stumbling across this website! We’re impressed you were able to find us, since we haven’t even really begun our journey. The two of us are excited to embark on this quest to find the lost Hunnicup treasure, and we hope you can help us out. Check out our About page to find all the ways you can contact us, and please subscribe to our podcast, or write a review in your favorite podcasting service. The more we can spread the word, the faster we can track down this wonderful, mysterious bounty that is still out there somewhere!